Hyper-independent strong women often exhibit certain traits and behaviors of their lives and relationships. While independence could be a powerful asset in a single’s life, there are occasions it could possibly even be more maladaptive than self-protective. In certain contexts, your hyper-independence could be channeled powerfully as long as additionally it is balanced with protected social networks and self-care. Here are some behaviors and traits chances are you’ll only understand for those who’re a hyper-independent woman.
You have trouble asking for help and trusting others.
Perhaps you’re the empathic confidante and go-to person for all your mates, and the strong, powerhouse leader who takes charge in every situation irrespective of the context. But relating to asking for help yourself or trusting someone to lend a helping hand? You have a bit an excessive amount of pride. You’d slightly be the problem-solver and work out every little thing on your personal, even while you’re experiencing the worst ordeals of your life. You may not trust that folks will show up for you in the way in which you deserve, and to be fair, you will have had loads of evidence in your life to suggest this. It’s vital to strike a balance between problem-solving and in search of out protected connections and resources. You deserve the identical compassion you give to others so freely.
You’ll do anything to avoid feeling overly depending on anyone.
You got at hand it to them, hyper-independent women know the right way to walk away from toxic relationships and folks with an ease that usually shocks people, especially if these people underestimated them because they are sometimes friendly and generous. That’s because their fear of dependence often overrides their fear of abandonment. They could also be nurturing and giving, but that doesn’t mean they need to turn into entangled and reliant on someone toxic to dictate their life for them. They don’t need to feel emotionally entangled and enmeshed with individuals who they feel they’ll control them, so often, they’re in a position to do what many individuals struggle with in a more immediate way—detach from toxic people— because their fear of being controlled by a relationship allows their natural survival instinct to decide on themselves to stay intact. For many ladies, their conditioned people-pleasing tendencies reign because they’re instilled by society and this could make it difficult to go away and detach from toxic people, understandably so. Hyper-independent women could also be self-protective, but they are sometimes right relating to their instincts. Sometimes, nonetheless, hyper-independent women can stretch too far within the direction of isolating themselves from others entirely simply to avoid this sense of dependency and this could be harmful to protected relationships that will profit from more closeness and trust.
You don’t settle easily for anything, whether it’s in friends or relationships — so that you are likely to have very high standards relating to your dreams and love life.
Women who’re used to being on their very own and managing every little thing effectively — from creating abundance of their funds and living situation to skyrocketing success of their careers and education to having thriving social networks — should not the categories to simply accept lower than the love and appreciation they know they deserve. Outsiders may call them picky and high-maintenance, but they’ve proven time and time again that in the event that they need to do something on their very own, they’ll and they’ll. They design their very own lives on their very own terms and are accustomed to living fulfilling lives while not having anyone. They know the worth their presence and assets bring to any situation and so they know they offer their all once they are really invested in something or someone. That is why lackluster friendships and half-hearted relationships are rarely appealing to them and so they are selective in regards to the sorts of people they permit into their energy and space. They won’t waste their time and energy pursuing what doesn’t profit them.
You genuinely love being alone.
There are many various the explanation why hyper-independent women can have developed hyper-independence. Some women turn into hyper-independent as a trauma response or approach to keep themselves protected, especially in the event that they grew up as children with nobody to guard them and will only depend on themselves. Maybe you’ve had a series of turbulent relationships that taught you being alone was more peaceful than being with the unsuitable people or witnessed how relationships drained the people around you growing up, so that you’re careful about who you let into your life lest you turn into emotionally dependent or enmeshed. Or you grew up with strong role models that taught you never to depend on a person or anyone for that matter to attain your goals, so that you took the initiative to be a self-starter.
Perhaps your chaotic childhood wrecked your nervous system so that you spent years in chaos in adolescence and now spend your time in maturity in recovery by detoxing from other people. Or possibly you’re just naturally built to be introspective and introverted, often withdrawing right into a wealthy inner world of creativity that doesn’t require the input of other people. The point is, every hyper-independent woman normally has their reasons for why they’re the way in which they’re. Whatever your personal story could also be, people need to appreciate that while you say you like being on your personal, you genuinely mean it. There is nothing more joyful and peaceful to you than savoring your alone time. You feel at home hibernating from the surface world and also you’re the kind who could be single for long periods of time without feeling fussed, even when you’ve got many romantic options.
You know that letting go of control could be freeing, but you’re still highly proof against the lack of control.
Hyper-independent women like to have a way of control over their environment and circumstances, perhaps because a few of them had a scarcity of control throughout their childhood. They have a must know the way life will unfold, because unpredictable circumstances means they need to yet again take the driving force’s seat in determining the right way to navigate one more maze their very own. They would slightly pre-plan and anticipate what’s going to occur next, and be certain that they’re those who get to make their very own decisions. While they’ve the resourcefulness to navigate anything and every little thing, it’s normally more freeing for them to release as much resistance in certain situations and give up at times to what is going on, while also finding like-minded community to support and validate them. Radical acceptance of what’s can actually help them at times to release their suffering of how they would love things to be and as an alternative take aligned motion when inspiration strikes as an alternative. Take yourself out of your automatic “problem-solving” mode and get right into a more mindful stance of observing your thoughts and emotions without the necessity to resolve anything just this moment.
You stretch yourself thin for the sake of perfectionism — but you low-key form of prefer it.
This is the part many individuals may not understand, but hyper-independent women often love stretching themselves thin because of their perfectionistic overachieving to an extent. Taking on multiple projects directly? Allowing yourself to be burnt out and stretched thin? Helping several people directly? Ah, the adrenaline rush! This form of chaos is commonly addictive for the hyper-independent woman since it keeps her mind busy from confronting past traumas or current issues in her life, but after all it could possibly turn into ultimately unhealthy when taken too far. You can still be a high achiever but keep in mind that it’s just as vital to prioritize sleep, rest, and have breaks. These will actually boost your productivity, but nonetheless your price doesn’t rest on how productive you might be. Remember that you simply’re not chargeable for taking up the issues of others, or putting more in your plate than you truly feel able to. You have all the time been and are already worthy, just as you might be.
