What is the key to a joyful and healthy relationship? Well, my friend, that could be a trick query. We all know that relationships are complex as hell and there isn’t one thing that could make or break them; what helps them thrive (or causes them to crumble) varies. However, there may be one key thing that separates a robust relationship from a fragile one, and that’s effective conflict resolution.
I’ll be the primary to say that nailing down how one can manage and resolve conflict in any relationship takes some serious trial and error, but when couples (or friendships, for that matter) can determine how one can do it in a way that works for them, they will turn into unstoppable. Take the President and the First Lady for example: In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar, Dr. Jill Biden revealed that she and Joe Biden turn to “fexting” (fighting over text) to hold on their fights without the Secret Service knowing about them. Sure, we’re not all in such high-stakes situations, but the purpose is that this: They’ve been married for nearly 47 years, and if text messages help manage conflict of their relationship, then more power to them!
As someone who cringes on the considered being in a fight over text (I’m more of a face-to-face kinda gal), I’m still endlessly curious (read: nosey) about how others approach problem-solving. So I did some research on this so-called “fexting” to learn how and why it may well work because hey, if it’s legit enough for the President and First Lady, there must be some merit to it, right? Read on to search out out:
What is fexting?
Believe it or not, fexting has been around so long as, well, texting, so it isn’t a brand new concept in any respect. Many people, including the aforementioned President and First Lady, use it—whether intentionally, of their case, or unintentionally—to argue. From what we are able to tell from Dr. Jill Biden’s Harper’s Bazaar interview, it seems like she and President Biden have fexting right down to a science. If done right, fexting might be helpful for individuals and couples alike but remember that it also has its downfalls. Whether it should work as well for you because it does for the Bidens is TBD, so consider the professionals and the cons we’re outlining next before trying it for yourself.
Positive Effects Of Fexting On Relationships
Fexting gives each individual more time to process their emotions
One of the fundamental advantages of fexting is that you have got rather more time to process what’s being said and the way you’re feeling. Since there isn’t any pressure to reply straight away like there normally is in person and even on a phone call, everyone is in a position to actually consider their very own feelings, and alternatively, the emotions and standpoint of the opposite person. This can result in simpler, honest communication in lots of varieties of fights.
Fexting helps you avoid saying things you would possibly regret later
Sometimes, an argument can get so heated that we put our guard up and act on defense (been there). When this happens, it may well be difficult to decelerate and really consider what we’re saying to the opposite person. Through a text message, you have got to physically type out what you really wish to say and you have got the chance to review it and delete it. In the smart words of Dorinda Medley from The Real Housewives of New York City, “Say It, Forget It. Write It, Regret It.”
Negative Effects Of Fexting On Relationships
An absence of tone and body language could make it obscure each other
Body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice are three things that play an enormous role in communication, and we are able to’t depend on them in any respect when texting. We are unable to inform if things were said with good intentions or not because we are able to’t hear the tone of voice, and similarly, we are able to’t tell if someone is getting really upset or indignant because we are able to’t see their face. This can result in a more heated or hurtful argument when, in fact, we don’t intend it to be that way if we care for someone.
Fexting can result in misunderstanding and miscommunication
We can attempt to be as careful and clear as possible when fexting, but at the top of the day, misunderstanding a text is something we have now all done. In face-to-face conversations, we are able to more clearly articulate what we’re saying and we usually tend to ask clarifying questions if we don’t understand what someone means.
Alternative Ways To Resolve Conflicts In Your Relationship
Set aside specific time to speak through issues
Instead of firing a text message at your partner in the midst of the day that catches them off guard, propose a time to speak. I do know the dreaded “we have to talk” text is nerve-wracking and stress-inducing for anyone to send or receive, but setting aside time to discuss whatever is happening can allow you to each give your full attention to at least one one other to problem-solve.
Try therapy
If you and your partner, member of the family, or a detailed friend have tried multiple methods to administer and avoid conflict on your individual, including fexting, and you might be still struggling to know each other, try therapy—individually or together. Talking to a licensed skilled may help everyone learn latest communication skills, see different perspectives, practice latest tools for problem-solving, and learn how one can argue in a healthy way.
Agree to disagree
It’s vital to keep in mind that you won’t all the time agree on every part with everyone, and there isn’t all the time a right and improper. If you end up in this case, it’s best to drop whatever the problem is and conform to disagree.
