Emotional cheating covers a wide range of behaviors. In a monogamous romantic relationship, two people can determine what the boundaries of the connection are based on their very own comfort levels. However, there are particular behaviors that may generally fall into the category of emotional cheating and will be disrespectful no matter whether or not someone considers it cheating. An emotional affair doesn’t need to cross physical or sexual boundaries to be able to be considered a transgression that violates your boundaries or disrespects you — even in times you are feeling tempted to rationalize that disrespect. In some ways, our society has encouraged and normalized these behaviors, giving women the shorter end of the stick and limiting what behaviors they’re allowed to search out inappropriate, and gaslighting them into believing they’re “insecure” or “crazy” in the event that they raise a problem with such behaviors. Here are six behaviors you must be careful for:
Disclosing personal information, establishing emotional intimacy, and venting about your relationship with a “girl best friend” or female acquaintance normally. If your boyfriend is spending inordinate amounts of time and energy with a girlfriend who he also vents to about your relationship, be very cautious and wary. Research indicates that men are more likely than women to have a romantic interest of their opposite-sex friends. While some friendships could also be truly platonic, in case your boyfriend is confiding in another person about his emotions, his deepest secrets, his day-to-day struggles, and yet neglects to confide in you or is defensive and secretive concerning the nature of his (*6*) with other women, which means he’s establishing a deeper sense of emotional intimacy with another person. If he’s spending large amounts of time and energy on any one other woman in a laser-focused way, hiding text messages and phone calls, meeting up together with her alone and prioritizing other women over you, even when the excuse seems “innocent,” don’t be so quick to assume it truly is innocent. If he becomes defensive when called out and refuses to make you more comfortable in a majority of these situations by distancing himself, you’re coping with an emotional cheater who places the emotions of other women over his girlfriend’s needs and feelings. This form of connection may appear innocuous at first, but whether it is interfering together with his ability to speak with and interact with you directly as his girlfriend, it easily enters into the realm of emotional cheating.
Checking out other people incessantly. Toxic individuals with dark personality traits often attempt to make others jealous on purpose, as studies have shown. If your boyfriend is continuously ogling at other potential love interests in front of you, or talking concerning the physical appearance of others in a way that makes you uncomfortable, run. Even should you don’t consider it emotional cheating, it remains to be downright disrespectful. He is establishing a silent and even blatant competition that you will have no business partaking in and placing his attention and desire onto other women. A healthy boyfriend will make you are feeling irreplaceable – an unhealthy, toxic person will attempt to demean you to make sure you are feeling too insecure to go away them.
Stalking other women’s social media profiles. If his following list is full of lewd accounts that make you cringe or his likes and comments often frequent the accounts of girls, understand that this too is usually a a part of emotional cheating behaviors. You can bet that it doesn’t stop at just “looking” and he may escalate into sliding into the DMs of others.
Flirting. Some people don’t consider flirting to be emotional cheating, but generally speaking, it may be very disrespectful to at least one’s romantic partner. If your boyfriend is spending his nights out giving other women the impression he’s single or bantering with other women in a way that seems a bit too interested and fixated on one other woman, it is certainly a case of emotional infidelity — especially if he has a chronic habit of doing so.
Watching “inappropriate” videos and consuming adult content in an excessive manner. Not all women will agree that is emotional cheating, but some women do think it deserves to be placed under this category if the behavior is chronic. If your boyfriend’s online “habits” of consuming adult content is interfering together with his ability to have interaction in your sex life and emotional intimacy in healthy ways, it thoroughly must be flagged as emotional cheating. Some couples may consider such content harmless fantasy, but others may find it inappropriate and objectifying, especially to women.
Constantly complimenting other women in a way that builds a reference to them. High quality men may give occasional warranted and healthy praise to anyone, not only women, but that doesn’t mean your boyfriend is mechanically off the hook if he’s continuously praising other women. If he’s hyper-focusing on the fantastic thing about other women, at all times praising their looks, intelligence, personality, talents, success, strengths, or other qualities — especially without regard to you or your feelings — this will definitely be a boundary-violating behavior. There’s a difference between giving an occasional compliment and at all times showering other women with praise or constructing a reference to them that he doesn’t construct with you. In the latter case, this will veer into the category of emotional cheating.
