It’s been an interesting couple of months for ladies, to say the least. The 4B movement which inspires principles of celibacy and a departure from heterosexual dating, marriage, and childrearing recently began gaining popularity within the United States after originating in South Korea, with therapists commenting that this movement seems to have improved the mental well-being of their clients. Over the past few years because the pandemic, hookup culture began to wane, and women began leaving dating apps en masse as they realized the pervasive misogyny and violence on the apps that appeared to affect almost every woman. In a related issue, across social media, people make clear the widespread nature of violence against women with the infamous “man vs. bear” query (would you reasonably be alone within the woods with a bear or an odd man?). The response to this hypothetical query highlighted the various ways women often feel unsafe not only within the dating world but of their day-to-day life basically, as they’ve been stalked, harassed, catcalled, followed, assaulted, and retaliated against for not being receptive to the advances of strangers.
Many women were outraged to see Bumble share controversial slogans on their recent billboard ads reminiscent of, “You know full well a vow of celibacy is not the answer,” “Thou shalt not give up on dating and become a nun,” and “A vow of celibacy is not the answer.” The founder and CEO of Bumble has since responded in an Instagram comment to the outrage, “We are removing the billboard with those messages, we completely missed the mark. Completely agree that it is a safe and important option when the laws are so restrictive and unfair and dangerous for women. We got this one wrong.”
Yet despite women sharing the very valid the explanation why they could be opting out of the misogynistic culture of dating and relationships presently, Bumble recently launched a controversial recent ad campaign that pushed against women’s agency and decisions. Many women were outraged to see Bumble share slogans on their recent billboard ads reminiscent of, “You know full well a vow of celibacy is not the answer,” “Thou shalt not give up on dating and become a nun,” and one other variation, “A vow of celibacy is not the answer.” Many women (and men) were quick to indicate that this campaign felt like dating apps are feeling threatened by the number of ladies leaving the apps or opting into the 4B movement to pursue happier lives. The founder and CEO of Bumble has since responded in an Instagram comment to the outrage, “We are removing the billboard with those messages, we completely missed the mark. Completely agree that it is a safe and important option when the laws are so restrictive and unfair and dangerous for women. We got this one wrong.”
These ads spread a harmful message about how women shouldn’t make their very own decisions, despite promoting a dating app that is predicated on women making their very own decisions.
Strangely, these ads used images that also appeared to be marketed toward women of color especially, or on the very least featured women of color, hinting that they are attempting to achieve this demographic or come across as inclusive and nonthreatening, while in point of fact, spreading a harmful message about how women shouldn’t make their very own decisions – despite being an app that is predicated on women making their very own decisions! For a dating app that originally presented itself as a secure space for ladies to make their very own decisions as to who to pursue (although some women may view it as ultimately, a misleading attempt at romance that only pushes them to approach low-effort men), this feels remarkably tone-deaf, and in some ways perpetuates an entitlement to women’s bodies as a “product” to be sold.
Circling back to the “strange man versus bear debate,” these ad campaigns are happening in a context where a unanimous unison of ladies declared that they might feel safer with a bear than with an odd man alone within the woods, with loads of heartbreaking the explanation why (e.g. some responses included things like, “The bear won’t attack me for no reason and tell me I enjoyed it,” “Statistically, the bear is more likely to leave me alone than a stranger,” “Bears won’t tell me I was assaulted because of what I wore,” “Sexual and physical violence against women are worldwide and very common – bear attacks are actually less common than being attacked by a man”). Some male survivors of sexual violence also affirmed the identical and gave their support for the bears. The “grizzle, grizzle” movement was thus born, but this campaign for awareness in regards to the violence that touches women on daily basis is nothing recent, and it has definitely been accelerated by dating apps.
Given that girls on dating apps share countless stories of aggression, violence, and even danger of their experiences, and there was little done to safeguard them, many ladies feel it’s counterintuitive and dangerous to push them back into the sector that made them feel so unsafe in the primary place. This just isn’t the primary time dating apps have come under fire for neglecting women’s safety, and Bumble is definitely not the one perpetrator here. Yet their latest ad campaign just places salt on the long-lasting wound women have endured in trying to seek out healthy relationships, only to experience trauma as an alternative. Bears, misogynistic dating apps, or strange men? Many women will select the bear, thanks very much, and they definitely have their reasons.
@dadchats This is America 🐻 👨
