I’m eating my lunch, and rapidly I feel a vibration floating through the surface of my table. I hold my breath and take the phone – “OMG, a Tinder notification!” Instantly I immerse myself within the app’s virtual universe and lose the sense of time.
My lunch break is over, I have to rush back to the office and my lunch is watching me with huge disappointment. “Could you box this up for me? Thank you.” I ask the waiter and explain that I will finish my lunch within the office.
On the way in which back I began pondering… Am I hooked on dating apps?
Since the dating apps were released I was sooo enthusiastic and began dating hard. I would swipe left and right, change photos, and rewrite my bio a few times. Often I would not sleep late and get up overwhelmed by all of the texting.
The tiredness didn’t prevent compulsive swiping during my free time. Even when I felt I’d had enough, I couldn’t make myself stop.
After some time, it became apparent there may be something very addictive about dating apps, the identical as with social media. It didn’t take long until I realized I was actually obsessed. This is how I discovered what makes dating apps so addictive.
1. I was hooked on a perpetual swiping loop
There is a sea of limitless flirting possibilities and it’s all so exciting! So many men, so little time. Suddenly you end up wanting to have all of them. You jump from one match to a different, hoping the following one will probably be higher.
Before you realize it, you fall into the trap. You’re in an limitless loop and also you see no exit door. Also, free plans soon turn into insufficient, you might have to pay for added features (pay-to-play!), and also you do it since you’re hooked!
Been there, done that…
2. I liked the gaminess
Dating apps have addictive design features that resemble game-like experiences. Swiping, push notifications, complementing, showing progress, and rewards – they’re all triggers to attract you in and make you’re feeling enchanted.
It all feels as if you happen to’re just playing a game. Even the interface is game-like.
I was like under a spell, one a part of me was here in the actual world and one other one was constantly hooked on my dating app existence.
3. It would elevate my mood
There is a neurochemistry trick behind dating apps. When we’re involved in exciting and pleasurable activities our brain releases dopamine. Dopamine, A.K.A “feel-good” hormone, is the chemical messenger that activates the brain’s reward system.
The swiping, matching with someone, all of the likes and comments – all of it lifts your mood and makes you feel thrilled and filled with hope.
That’s when it hit me! I was actually hooked on dopamine, that’s why it was so hard to free myself.
4. It would help me when I felt lonely
If you’re shy or introverted you’ll find it difficult to satisfy people in the actual world. Dating apps assist you to explore an abundance of selections and possibilities.
It’s easy to deceive yourself and imagine dating apps will provide help to discover a partner much faster than you would otherwise.
I know I thought so, but I was naive and unaware of the dating apps’ uncomfortable side effects.
5. I found the journey into the unknown
Again our good friend dopamine! The unpredictability of interactions on dating apps increases our levels of “feel-good” hormone.
Besides, there may be curiosity and thrill of the unknown. When we start trying to find matching users we’re imagining different scenarios and trust me, it brings a variety of joy.
As there was a plenitude of options, sometimes I was afraid to miss out on great matching opportunities. FOMO makes you sink within the swiping mud, getting much more addicted!
6. I was in a position to escape reality
If you are usually not really satisfied along with your relationship you could be susceptible to escape and dive into the parallel world of online dating.
There you’re not you, your alter ego can wear so many hats, and the experience is thrilling.
I kept constructing my “dating muscle”, and adjusted my “dating image” continuously. I felt so powerful. As if I was in a position to create so many alternative storylines and versions of myself.
Even in case your relationship feels off sometimes, you mustn’t forget that users of dating apps are real people. Although all of it looks like a virtual play, someone might take it seriously and it could possibly turn into dangerous, no less than.
So be certain that your escapism doesn’t hurt anyone, especially your partner.
Help yourself! Do a dating app detox.
If you think that you is perhaps hooked on dating apps, prepare for a detox. I don’t say it’ll be easy but stay firm and follow my suggestions.
First, while you eat, you simply eat, so keep your phone away through the meal! The same goes for sleep – make your bedroom a tech-free area.
Turn off notifications! You don’t need constant interruption. Let yourself feel present within the moment.
Stop multitasking and limit yourself to at least one screen at a time. Choose one or two dating apps and don’t juggle between too many options.
Make sure to reserve one chunk of your time that will probably be tech-free time! No TV, no phone, no tablet, no computer! Just you and real-life interactions. You can spend time with friends, family, or your dog. Even a pleasant book will do the work.
