We often hear people talking about “daddy issues” in women but not much has been said about men with mommy issues. Here are five red flags you’re dating a person whose villain origin story — or sassy spoiled man story — began together with his issues around his mama that he never bothered to take a look at or heal closely. There’s no shame in having mother wounds — but when you’re coping with a person like this who doesn’t hold himself accountable for getting help or healing (or grew up spoiled and coddled) like many ladies do when confronting their very own childhood conditioning, it’s time to detach and reading the signs could assist you to achieve this.
He has a shady enmeshment together with his mother who takes pride in being a “boy mom” and who’s jealous of any woman who comes into the image.
Creepy territorial mom alert! If you might be dating a person whose mother appears to be his shadow and desires to be consulted in every decision he makes, he’s probably a mama’s boy and has mommy issues. Think Trey and Bunny MacDougal’s strange infantalizing relationship in Sex and the City. This kind of man is more likely to have Peter Pan syndrome because he never really grew up, was enabled to have women cater to him and can at all times select his mama over his own wife and youngsters, even in matters where it harms his spouse. Watch out. This future mother-in-law comes as a package deal and can without end be competing with you for the title of fundamental woman — gross. Step away out of your son, ma’am!
He has issues with entitlement and fails to truly get therapy or self-reflect.
If you’re dating a person who expects his girlfriend to be his mother, at his every beck and call laboring for him, he could also be a pampered little prince who thinks the world is centered around him, his needs, and protecting his ego, lashing out at anyone who threatens it. He could have grown up praised for respiratory and reeks of entitlement — the truth is he often expects princess treatment from the ladies he dates, huffing and puffing often about how women are diabolical and make the most although women at large are at greater risk for violence and exploitation within the dating world. His mother told him from a young age that his mediocrity was brilliance and never gave him consequences for his actions. Maybe even each parents coddled him and made him consider he deserved to have the most effective woman even when he fell wanting being the best man. But he was the apple of mama’s eye and he expects his next girlfriend to be similar to his mother, putting him on a pedestal regardless of what he does or says. Yikes! Run now and without end protect your peace. Get yourself a high-quality man who treats and spoils you and courts you as you deserve and doesn’t use these issues as an excuse to not heal or get therapy.
He has a classic case of Madonna-Whore syndrome.
Perhaps his mother passed down her internalized misogyny to strengthen his already misogynistic attitudes toward women or perhaps he puts women on a pedestal in unhealthy ways because he saw his mother as the last word pristine “Madonna,” (or on the other situation, if his mom cheated on his dad or was more sexually open, the “whore”) but for whatever reason, he can’t appear to get away from the dichotomy that separates a girl’s sexuality from her intelligence or value as an individual or come to embrace her multi-facetedness. To him, women fall in two categories: virgin or whore. You’ll notice this happening when you guys got wild between the sheets whilst you were first dating but he suddenly sexually withdrew once you became his girlfriend or wife — he cannot concurrently respect you and have sexual attraction to you as wife and mother of his children since it’s a projection of his own mommy issues. He wants to keep up the image of you as “pure” once you’re in a commitment. It’s a weird phenomenon however it’s common amongst guys like these and sometimes it stems from mommy issues too.
He expects you to overly nurture and reassure him and cater to his every need.
If he had an absent mother and even an excessively involved mother, he wants you to satisfy the mother role and unjustly puts that responsibility on you to satisfy the needs only a nurturing parent can. He demands excessive reassurance and will be possessive and controlling of your time and energy, asking you to take time and energy away out of your goals and friendships to deal with him emotionally and even help him together with his profession and funds. He wants you to cook and clean for him and do his laundry like his mama. Tell him to get a maid, therapist, and a few independence pronto. Women do enough labor on this world without sacrificing their dreams to cater to a person that society has already arrange with loads of privileges. Whether this stems from mommy issues, daddy issues, or narcissistic traits, the recommendation here continues to be the identical: see it as a red flag to trust your instincts, detach from the connection and nurture yourself by enforcing healthy boundaries.
He has sexist attitudes and resentment toward women.
This one is less mommy issues and more deep narcissism and misogyny issues, however it may additionally be strengthened by his own misdirected rage at his mother which can not even be warranted in some cases. Perhaps he was abandoned by a deadbeat dad and unfairly blamed this on the mother that truly stayed and cared for him and resented being depending on a girl for survival, growing as much as despise women and take out his insecurities on them. Or perhaps he felt like his mother betrayed his father ultimately and now he projects that distrust into every woman he meets slightly than actually getting help for his issues. Whatever the case could also be, it’s not your burden to bear or problem to resolve. Women get therapy on a regular basis to heal these wounds — men can do it too.
