Dr. Phillips suggests sitting down together with your S.O. to speak about how you wish your sex life to look on this latest stage. A couple of possible convo starters: Some of the all time sex you had before kids, things that get you excited (are there latest positions or activities you wish to try?), in addition to anything that makes you are feeling anxious (are there parts of your body you don’t want touched straight away?). If you’re mourning something about your before-baby sex life or life usually (like having virtually no free time anymore) be honest about that too.
These intimate conversations might turn you on within the moment (or perhaps they won’t, which can also be okay!). But if nothing else, they’ll encourage closeness together with your partner—and this connectedness will help open the doors for the true thing once you’re ready, Dr. Ross says.
4. Explore different sorts of touch.
Maybe you used to leap right into sex, nevertheless it’s normal for those who now find it slightly difficult to mentally switch from “mom mode” to carnal goddess—especially for those who’re attempting to quickly benefit from small windows of time, like your baby’s naps. Starting with slow touches and more foreplay than you’ll have needed prior to now will help, Christie Cobb, MD, FACOG, a board-certified ob-gyn in Little Rock, Arkansas, tells SELF. “Responsive desire”—feeling aroused after being touched—“may take longer when you are exhausted, but it is worth putting in the time to focus on pleasure before moving toward direct genital stimulation or penetration,” Dr. Cobb says.
To that end, she recommends specializing in what feels good in numerous erogenous zones and not only the plain ones—your neck, lips, and lower back count too. (Can we interest you in a sensual massage?) And don’t overlook easy acts of touch like a shoulder rub, scalp massage, or back scratches: This form of non-sexual foreplay can boost levels of oxytocin, the “love hormone” that makes you are feeling connected and relaxed, which in turn can prime you for the sexier stuff.
5. One word: lube.
If you don’t have already got one stashed in your bedside table, put money into a very good lubricant now. “Lack of lubrication decreases pleasure for both partners, and this is literally the easiest problem to fix,” Dr. Cobb says.
Many latest mothers feel extra-sensitive down there during those first few postpartum sex sessions— that hormonal roller coaster you’ve been on could make the vaginal area slightly dry and it’s possible you’ll even be coping with lingering soreness—so selecting a formula that’s freed from common allergens reminiscent of flavor and fragrance, can assist you to avoid irritation, Dr. Cobb says. Also in that better-to-skip category are lubes marketed as being “tingling” or “warming,” she adds.
Just remember which you could still get pregnant in the primary few months after giving birth (yes, even for those who’re breastfeeding and haven’t gotten your period again yet). So for those who’re not ready for an additional baby and are using condoms as your contraception method, be certain that to avoid oil-based lubes like coconut oil, which may cause condoms to interrupt.
There’s absolute confidence that these first few months postpartum are difficult for even essentially the most in-sync couples, but remind yourself that it is a season of life—and one you’ll be on the opposite side of before you recognize it. “Babies grow up; eventually they become adults and move out of the house,” Dr. Cobb says. In the meantime, she adds, you and your partner have a possibility to strengthen your communication muscles and rediscover how you wish to be intimate—and that will help keep your relationship rock-solid (and hot) for the long haul.
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