When I used to be latest on the dating scene, a freshman in college, I often sought to draw guys by wearing ridiculous wigs.
I’d placed on dresses I’d normally never wear and apply heavy makeup simply because I believed it might make me more desirable.
Then sooner or later, the guy I used to be dating on the time made an unplanned visit to my apartment. He was within the neighborhood and decided to pop by. I didn’t have time to get my wig on or make-up done. Plus, I wore an informal dress, one I’d never wear on a date.
When I opened the door and he saw me, he was pleasantly surprised. Later as we sat down, he remarked, “You look so refreshing, I love your natural hair, and you look equally beautiful without make-up on”.
I said, “Well, I thought guys like sophisticated-looking ladies”. And what he said next was eye-opening: “Women mistakenly think certain behaviors attract men, but oh! how wrong they usually are.”
I got schooled on a few of these behaviors, and you want to know them too.
1. Needing to have the proper appearance
Of course, appearance matters and plays a task in the lads drawn to you. However, you regularly must elevate your appearance somewhat than invent a brand new one that doesn’t exist.
here’s what I mean:
I like my natural hair, and everybody who knows me knows this. And somewhat than searching for to raise my unique look, I selected to placed on a wig. The whole time I’m wearing this wig, I’m miserable, but I mistakenly think that is what is going to attract a person.
There is nothing inherently flawed with wearing hair extensions. There is, nonetheless, an issue in case you think you have to tackle a special persona through your appearance to draw a person.
And what is going to you do when he gets drawn to a false version of you? Keep up the act?
When you’re trying hard to seem perfect to someone, it shows through in your attitude. You’ll get anxious about saying something silly around them. Plus, you’ll feel embarrassed about essentially the most trivial things.
In science, there’s a phenomenon called “The Beautiful Mess Effect.” It explains that we are likely to underestimate how much our deficiencies make people bond more with us.
It’s not your flaws that matter, it’s the way you handle them. If you’re ashamed of it, it becomes ugly. But once you embrace it, it makes you more likable; it becomes a “beautiful mess.”
Also read: 16 Psychological Tricks That Will Make Him Miss You
2. Playing hard to get
According to studies, being on the fence for too long concerning the interest of a possible romantic partner tends to be a much bigger turn-off than a turn-on for many men.
How repeatedly will we hear “men love the chase”? And yet most good guys who’re busy setting and achieving their goals in life don’t have any time for “the chase”. So, what is going to occur?
You’ll get a bunch of jerks playing together with you until they finally get what they need from you and leave you heartbroken.
Women mistakenly think if a person likes you, he’ll stick around for the chase; even once you don’t show interest, he’ll keep wooing you. But this behavior is a put-off somewhat than an attraction.
It might also be seen by some men as an indication that you simply are insecure and wish a person to go above and beyond to prove he wants you.
A high-value man will show interest in you. But in case you see that you simply’re not interested, he isn’t going to waste his time convincing you that he’s worthy of your love.
3. Playing the damsel in distress
Sure, guys prefer to feel needed, and sometimes it’s okay to be the damsel in distress. On the opposite hand, in case you plan on keeping a long-term relationship somewhat than just a few moments of attraction, the damsel in distress narrative won’t at all times fly.
If a person has to at all times rescue you from debt, fights, and bad decisions, soon enough, he’ll run for the hills. Such high maintenance isn’t attractive.
It might also just be easy things like calling a person for help around your own home. That sounds harmless until he begins to see you as a helpless woman, continuously needing help.
A person will love you for having your life together. Won’t it’s exhausting to exit on this planet and fight to realize your goals, only to come back home and still should “fix” your woman?
4. Self-depreciation to massage his ego
After all these years of fighting for gender equality, it’s crazy to think that you have to play dumb to draw a person.
Do you realize what my guy friend told me when I discussed this? He said, “men who prefer dumb women are insecure and can’t stand to compete with smart women”.
We’ve all seen women who meet men and suddenly act less clever and hang on his every word like a lovestruck schoolgirl.
Playing dumb might attract a person, but he may be the flawed man for you. And will you proceed to play dumb throughout the connection?
Men who’re confident and secure in themselves should not intimidated by intelligent women. Not only that, but they’ll even be delay by a lady who’s not intelligent enough to carry her own.
Interesting: How to Create Intense Desire In A Man
5. Acting like you will have lots of men curious about you
Similar to acting tired of a person, some women think that by acting like they’ve lots of men curious about them, they’ll attract more men.
Sure, competition is alleged to ignite more attraction, but it will possibly quickly go south if overdone.
If you tell a person that you will have other men waiting in line to this point you, his ego might push him to either leave or stay around just long enough to get the validation he needs.
Some men have fragile egos and acting like you will have lots of other men curious about you is a mistake that may quickly put them off.
6. Pretending to just like the things he likes
There’s no harm in trying to indicate interest within the things a person likes, but in case you are lying about what you like rather than his interests, you’re not being authentic.
And guess what, it doesn’t attract men. Not only does it show that you simply are unfaithful to yourself, nevertheless it reeks of desperation.
You might also be pretending because he admires someone who has specific characteristics, and you would like to embody those characteristics to draw him.
Copying someone is simply going to make you a fake version of yourself. It is a behavior you mistakenly think attracts men but doesn’t.
So, if women have these flawed perceptions concerning the behaviors that attract men, what will we do?
Be authentic. All we’re ever called to be in life is ourselves. We might be ourselves once we are confident.
Final words
Studies have shown a pyramid within the flow of attraction. Here they’re:
1. Status and health
These are at the bottom of the pyramid. They are an important aspects that influence attraction.
Without health or status, attraction cannot exist. Status is broken into two elements: internal and external.
Internal status entails being confident in your skill set and beliefs. Confidence is attractive, which is why it plays a big role in dating.
External status alternatively points to material possessions and visual markers. Although these are also obligatory, it’s argued that internal status is more crucial.
Health plays a task in attraction because the way you look, smell, and physique matter.
2. Emotional
The emotional state is next on the pyramid. This is the extent where we fall in love.
The connection, intelligence, uniqueness, and mystery of the opposite person either make you fall in love with them or not. This is why women must openly express themselves and be unafraid to face out.
3. Logic
The argument here is that greater alignment means greater attraction. This might be why some women pretend to have similar interests as the lads they like.
There is undoubtedly a person on the market whose dreams will align with yours. Don’t sell yourself short.
So, somewhat than these behaviors that we predict mistakenly attract men, listed here are proven attitudes that attract men.
To attract a person, you don’t must reinvent yourself; you only need to spotlight your best features.
Wear red, wear lovely perfume, and don’t be afraid to embrace your body shape.
As times change, the dating scene changes. Attraction during online dating might be different, but some principles apply in every single place.
You may not give you the chance to raise your looks and go on a physical date to draw a person, but you’ll be able to be honest. If you lose yourself to draw a person, that’s too high a price to pay.
Related: How To Attract A Man Physically In 10 Proven Ways
