And whatever you’re doing, don’t neglect the butt—which is filled with nerve endings that you could stimulate sans penetration. Massaging the anus or perineum with a lubed-up finger—a.k.a. anal surfacing—can introduce an entire different form of sexual pleasure.
4. Embrace some sensual massage.
Who said the touching had to start out (or stop) down there? Oil up your hands, and make long, smooth strokes in your partner’s shoulders, back, thighs, or wherever else they may wish to be massaged. Then, you possibly can drift your fingers toward a few of their erogenous zones, like their neck, boobs, butt, and perhaps even their feet, armpits, and the perimeters of their back, depending on what they’re into, Wright says: “Semi-erotic massage can be a really connective physical experience.”
5. Explore power play.
Layering on a psychological element to your sexy time could be an incredibly hot technique to dial things up, no penetration mandatory. The vital thing is that you simply discuss your boundaries for any dominant or submissive behavior ahead of time, Wright says. For instance, are you cool with being tied up but don’t want anything restricting your neck or face? Say that. Or perhaps you’re okay with impact play—like being spanked on the butt—but a slap within the face is crossing the road. Verbalize that, too. (If you’re totally recent to this sort of kink, here’s slightly guide on the way to ease into it.)
“Within the container you create, the dominant person is leading and the submissive person is following,” Wright says. This might appear to be taking instructions for what to do (“Crawl to the bed”), or it could involve impact with whips or a flogger or hands, or any type of restraints, she says. Or perhaps it’s more concerning the idea of being dominated by or submitting to another person—which could be very erotic in and of itself. “Some people can have very, very kinky sex…and their genitals don’t even touch,” Wright says. That alone could possibly be a fun challenge.
6. Rub up against a partner.
The practical opposite of the above, taking hands out of the equation and grinding against a partner—even in case you’re fully clothed—generally is a super sexy experience, Heidegger says. Or take it down a notch, and just spoon them, cuddle, or press your body against theirs while naked, Wright suggests. “For some people, that cuddling releases the oxytocin they need or want, and they’re good.”
7. Reimagine your bath or shower time.
Shower sex is never as seamless as rom-coms would have you suspect: A tough, slippery floor and a face filled with water stand in the best way of nailing most go-to positions for penetration—which begs the query: What in case you…don’t? Just lounging in a bathtub of suds together with your partner or lathering one another within the shower could be very popular, Heidegger says, and means that you can concentrate on being present together, versus avoiding a face-plant. You may even take things a step further by making out under the stream of water such as you’re kissing within the rain or filming B-roll for (IYKYK.)
