We all have moments we glance back on and say, “What was I thinking?!” Case in point: the eyebrow blindness trend that’s going around on TikTok straight away. The trend discusses the slippery slope of ignoring what’s right in front of you and as an alternative falling victim to whatever’s trending in the wonder world in the meanwhile. Apparently, the identical goes for relationships. Love may be blind, but allowing a relationship to cloud your judgment is a recipe for disaster. If that is something you may relate to, you may be affected by boyfriend blindness.
To be clear, boyfriend blindness has absolutely nothing to do with looks. It refers to ignoring behaviors and warning signs, together with beige and red flags in your partner. You’re wearing rose-colored glasses and need to see one of the best in them, warning signs be damned. But how can you tell if you happen to’re affected by boyfriend blindness? We’ve rounded up the ten warning signs below.
1. You’re the just one making sacrifices
Whether it’s working extra time to assist pay the bills, moving to a brand new city for a job that’ll higher support your loved ones, or giving up personal time to be together, making sacrifices is a no brainer once you’re in love. Of course, there can be times that require you to present up more, like in the event that they’re in between jobs or recovering from an injury, but things will even out eventually. Hopefully, they’ll do the identical for you without hesitation down the road. However, if you happen to’re the just one constantly stepping up, compromising, and sacrificing, chances are high you’ve got boyfriend blindness.
Maybe you think that asking them to satisfy you halfway is simply too much. Perhaps you understand deep down that they won’t be willing to compromise. Whatever the reasoning, telling yourself that this isn’t any big deal only does you a disservice. Not only is it completely unfair to you, but it’ll backfire in the long term; eventually, you’ll get bored with being the just one who makes sacrifices.
2. You’re all the time the one apologizing
We all could be a bit of stubborn sometimes, and nobody likes to confess they’re unsuitable—but saying “sorry” is a component of being a grown-up. While one in every of you may be more willing to apologize first than the opposite, it is best to never be the only one who’s apologizing. If your partner can’t recognize once they’re at fault, that’s a red flag. It suggests that they’re unwilling to simply accept the results of being unsuitable and that they’re not open to learning from their mistakes. It’s childish behavior, and also you’re their partner, not their parent. You shouldn’t should be taking the blame consistently.
3. Your family and friends don’t like them, but you ignore it
Although it’s never an excellent sign if the people closest to you don’t like your partner, blatantly ignoring any concerns they’ve about them is worse. You won’t want to handle their concerns because doing so would mean going back to being single, which is a scary prospect. You may also get defensive since you’ve taken their criticism as a private attack in your judgement (Alexa, play “Please, Please, Please” by Sabrina Carpenter).
Your friends and relations want what’s best for you and aren’t attempting to smash your happiness. While it’s natural to feel defensive, pretending there aren’t any issues only creates distance between you and your family members. After all, it’s hard to take a seat by and watch someone you like in a nasty relationship. Plus, this may subliminally strain your relationship since you’ll consistently be wondering behind your mind in case your family members’ concerns are founded.
4. You rationalize their bad behavior
We all have bad days after we unjustly lash out, snap at, or take our anger and frustration out on those closest to us; it’s a part of being human, and we’ll apologize and be more mindful of it going forward. But when rude and disrespectful behavior is the norm, they’re not having a nasty day, they’re only a jerk. If you’ve got boyfriend blindness, you’ll rationalize their behavior as an alternative of admitting that they’re not nice. You’ll justify their poor attitude to the people around you by blaming their job, their circumstances, or anything besides their personality. But at the tip of the day, making excuses will only make you more unhappy in the connection.
5. You bury your feelings concerning the relationship
Although it’s normal to compromise and make sacrifices in a relationship, true love won’t ever ask you to disclaim your individual feelings. It’s a red flag if you happen to’re shoving down your emotions or changing who you might be to make your companion completely satisfied. This may be over something small, like not speaking up and letting them resolve where to go for dinner, or something larger, like changing your stance on marriage and kids.
Similarly, this will likely also appear like prioritizing their needs and happiness above yours. Making your partner completely satisfied can feel rewarding, and selflessness is a vital attribute in all healthy relationships. However, the correct person won’t ever ask you to place your individual wants and desires on the backburner. Rather, they’ll discover a strategy to meet in the center so everyone’s satisfied.
6. You put them on a pedestal
It’s perfectly healthy and normal to be your partner’s biggest cheerleader, nevertheless it crosses a line once you’re practically putting them on a pedestal. This means repeatedly overlooking their flaws; these flaws could be as small as chewing with their mouth open or as big as persistent jealousy and distrust. Instead of acknowledging that no one’s perfect, you’ve idealized them a lot in your individual head that you simply’ve created a version of them that’s different from reality. This is a big sign of boyfriend blindness—you’re so obsessive about them, you would possibly not even have the opportunity to see how great you are.
7. You make big decisions concerning the relationship quickly
Making big decisions concerning the relationship quickly is one other sign you’re affected by boyfriend blindness. You might move in together when you’re still within the honeymoon phase, get married before you’ve passed through true hardships, or resolve to have kids before you’ve discussed the way you’re going to lift them. Spontaneity happens, but intentionally bypassing the steps of attending to know someone often indicates there’s a beige or red flag you don’t wish to acknowledge.
The problem with speeding through the early phases is that the honeymoon phase will not be life. Things do occur—people get sick, they lose their jobs and relations, and so forth—and it’s necessary to undergo the highs and lows of life together as a pair before you make life-altering selections. Besides, if “you know when you know,” then what’s the harm in knowing you’ll be together perpetually and savoring the strategy of attending to know one another and each stage of a relationship?
8. You sweep conflict under the rug
No one likes fighting, but engaging in conflict could be useful in a relationship (as long as it’s not happening 24/7, then it’s a red flag). It can result in greater understanding between two people and teach you find out how to work through disagreements using communication, trust, and patience. When you sweep things under the rug, nothing gets resolved, and the issue is doomed to arise and repeat itself in the longer term. It’s also an indication that you simply’re affected by boyfriend blindness.
Perhaps you do that since you’re avoidant and don’t wish to face the issue head-on, or possibly you’re afraid of what your partner might do or say throughout the argument. Whatever the case could also be, sweeping things under the rug only prevents the connection from growing and maturing.
9. You don’t find time for one another
We all have busy seasons, and there’s a robust likelihood yours won’t align together with your partners. This is why it’s imperative to carve out time for one another, lest you risk drifting apart. It’s a red flag in the event that they’re all the time leaving you hanging on the last minute, canceling plans, or not making time for either of you. They may be busy, but they need to find or make time to spend with you, even when it’s something so simple as watching TV together before bed. If they don’t do that, it suggests that they’re taking you without any consideration. And once you’re affected by boyfriend blindness, you’ll excuse this.
10. You’re unhappy, but you won’t admit it
When you’re unhappy, it’s easy to point the finger at outside aspects and blame them for it; you would possibly tell yourself you’re feeling unhappy since it’s been raining for seven days straight or because your boss harshly criticized you, but deep down you understand it’s greater than that. If you’ve got boyfriend blindness, you understand deep down that you simply’re unhappy since you’re within the unsuitable relationship.
At the tip of the day, it’s easy to be blinded by love, but love should never come at the price of your individual happiness. A relationship that’s making you sad is doing more harm than good. If that’s the case, it may be time to finally remove your rose-colored glasses and admit to yourself something you’ve known all along: things aren’t understanding. Will it’s hard? Absolutely—but it’ll be so value it ultimately. Knowingly allowing yourself to be blinded by your partner will only prevent each of you from meeting the correct person and living out your happily ever after.
