Texting a lady for the primary time might be…scary…exciting…confusing…literally, the entire above at the identical time. If you say the suitable thing, it could possibly be the beginning of an incredibly fruitful relationship. Say the improper thing? It looks like you possibly can miss out on a fantastic opportunity to attach with someone special.
While all of that is true, there may be a lightweight at the tip of the tunnel. It doesn’t need to be that tough. In fact, texting a lady for the primary time is pretty easy and simple, so long as you realize what to say.
So…what are you alleged to say? Today, we’ll show you exactly what to say. We’ll also take a look at when it is best to change your message based on different situations. And lastly, we’ll take a look at just a few common mistakes that you just’re going to need to be sure to avoid.
Is she expecting your text?
The first and most vital query you must answer is whether or not or not she’s expecting your text. Did you tell her that you just’d send her a text later? Did she provide you with her phone number? If either of those are true, then she is expecting your text.
If you bought her phone number from another person (and she or he didn’t ask them to offer it to you), through a random directory, or by playing web sleuth—she is not expecting your text. If that is the case, we’d probably suggest not sending her a text because the possibilities that you just come across as creepy or a stalker are far too high. If you do need to “cold contact” her, you’re higher off doing it through social media. This will feel way less invasive and it can let her easily click in your profile to see who you might be.
If she is expecting your text, great! Head to the following step.
Introduce yourself if you happen to’ve never texted her before
The worst thing that may occur when texting a lady for the primary time is that she doesn’t know who you might be or thinks you’re another person. The best method to avoid that is to introduce yourself and add as much context as mandatory.
Hey! Its (your name) from (where you realize them from).
It’s that easy. For example, in case your name is Michael and you might be in the identical science class, you’d say…
“Hey! It’s Michael from science class.”
Or, if you happen to met her on the mall earlier today, you would possibly say…
“Hey! It’s Michael. We met in the food court at the mall today.”
Here are just a few additional suggestions to recollect here:
- If there may be a couple of person with the identical name, give more context. For example, if there are two Michaels in your science class, you would possibly must say, “Hey It’s Michael from science class (the one that sits right behind you).”
- If it’s someone random you simply met, at all times go for more context. Additionally, if you happen to only spent just a few minutes talking to them, go for more context.
- Don’t fall down an excessive amount of context when it’s not needed, though. Doing this might make it seem to be you don’t think you’re a memorable person. Have some confidence that they’ll remember you. And if for some reason they don’t, we’ll show you later in this text how you can respond.
- Don’t say anything bad about yourself as context. For example, if you happen to’ve got slightly extra weight, don’t say, “Hey! It’s Michael. We met in the food court at the mall today. I was the overweight guy.”
After the intro, get to the aim of your text
In the identical message, you’ll need to get to the rationale that you just’re reaching out. And, here’s the massive key, you’ll need to do it in the shape of an issue. Why? Because it’s easier to reply to. It warrants a response. It prevents you from wondering if you must send a second message or not.
Let’s take a look at this deeper.
What are among the reasons you may be reaching out? Maybe you desire to ask them out on a date? Maybe you desire to start a conversation and get to know them higher? For the sake of this discussion, we’re going to assume that each are true—that you desire to start a conversation with them and ultimately ask them out on a date.
Pro tip: Even if all you wish is to ask them out on a date, at the least have slightly forwards and backwards conversation first.
So, what might this message seem like. Well, first, let’s grab certainly one of our intros from the previous section:
“Hey! It’s Michael. We met in the food court at the mall today.”
And now, we’re going to ask her an issue that pertains to something we talked about. For example, let’s say she said she was on the mall purchasing for latest shoes. We might say…
“Hey! It’s Michael. We met in the food court at the mall today. How did your quest for shoes end up?”
Or perhaps she said she was heading to get lunch at McDonalds.
“Hey! It’s Michael. We met in the food court at the mall today. How was McDonalds?”
It truthfully doesn’t have to be overcomplicated.
But, what happens if you happen to didn’t really speak about much or anything interesting? What if you happen to met her and she or he gave you her number and asked you to text her later, but didn’t provide you with something to ask about?
Well, there are some generic things you should use to fill in.
The easiest is what we call the ‘I didn’t get a probability to ask you’ method. All you do is say your intro after which start a sentence with ‘I didn’t get a probability to ask you’ after which ask about something.
For example…
“Hey! It’s Michael. We met in the food court at the mall today. I didn’t get a chance to ask you, I saw you were wearing a Pokémon shirt. Are you a big Pokémon fan?”
Or, much more generic…
“Hey! It’s Michael. We met within the food court on the mall today. I didn’t get a probability to ask you, are you from here or simply visiting on vacation?
Don’t overcomplicate it
I do know we’ve said this several times already, nevertheless it’s really that easy. There is completely no must overcomplicate texting a lady for the primary time. Introduce yourself, give as much context as needed, and ask an issue that starts a conversation.
What to do in the event that they don’t remember you
Sometimes, people we predict are going to recollect us don’t. Does this mean they’re not serious about you? Not necessarily. It could occur since you didn’t give enough context or just because they’d rather a lot happening that day and bumped into lots of people. Also, if you happen to met them at a bar and alcohol was involved, there’s a probability they may not remember rather a lot concerning the evening.
Are these reasons to not send a text message to a lady? Absolutely not! Just remember that there’s a real probability they may not remember you, but that it greater than likely has nothing to do with you or anything you probably did.
So, what will we do if this happens?
First, play it cool. If they’re blunt and write back saying, “I’m sorry, I don’t remember who you are,” then you could have two options. One, you’ll be able to send a message back giving more context. We’d recommend doing it in a confident way that doesn’t make them feel bad about. You could say something like, “Aww shucks, I’m actually pretty awesome (at least my mom says so). There were a lot of people there, though, so I get it. I was the one in the red hat and we talked about how much we love Justin Timberlake. Ring a bell?”
Or, you possibly can send a message and in addition send a fast selfie of yourself. Something like, “Here’s a picture of me sad you didn’t remember us meeting haha” after which include an image of you making a funny sad/pouty face. Just be sure that the image you send is an actual selfie that you just just took. If you send an actual picture of you from another time, it’s just type of weird.
If they still don’t remember you after that and don’t seem to be they need to carry on a conversation, just chalk it up as a great attempt to move on to meeting another person.
Common mistakes to avoid
While it truly is that easy to text a lady for the primary time, there are some pretty big pitfalls you’ll need to avoid. If you occur to make certainly one of these mistakes, it could end your probabilities of something special. Here are probably the most common things to look out for.
- Watch what time you send your message. – If you send your first text at 2am, she’s probably going to think you’re a celebration animal. Be wary of what the message your text message sends. The best time might be an early afternoon message.
- Don’t wait too long. – There are lots of silly rules on the market about waiting three days to text someone back or something like that. Ignore those. The longer you wait to text someone back (especially someone you simply briefly met), the more likely that they will not be going to recollect you. On that very same note, you don’t need to text them too fast to where it seems odd. The best advice is text them the following day after you meet. Or, if you desire to text them the identical day, tell them in person that you just’ll send them a message later today (after which follow through on that)!
- Remember that text messages don’t include tone. – When you say things in person, they get to listen to your tone and see your body language. When you say things over the phone, you lose that body language. And whenever you say things over text, you lose every thing except the words on the screen. What this implies is that jokes won’t come across accurately, sarcasm will fall flat, and they’ll interpret your words in the way in which their brain chooses too. So, the takeaway? Don’t take “big chances” with jokes or sarcasm. The risk vs reward is just not there over text.
- If she doesn’t reply to your first message, let it go. – There are times when following up or being persistent are good. This just isn’t certainly one of them. If she doesn’t reply to your first message (that follows the format we laid out), then take that as an indication that she is not any longer serious about a conversation. The likelihood is high it has nothing to do with you and every thing with what’s happening in her life, so don’t let it get you down.
