Every yr, Love Is Blind takes over the cultural zeitgeist. Its perfect balance of romance, heartbreak, drama, and intense cliffhangers has kept us hooked since 2020, but perhaps crucial thing the show brings is the invaluable lessons about what it takes to cultivate and maintain a successful relationship. My boyfriend and I began watching the show right after we moved in together, and the conversations it’s prompted between us have created a powerful foundation upon which we’ve been able to construct our relationship.
Now, as season six has come to an intense, dramatic close, there have been much more meaningful conversations (not including whether or not Chelsea actually looks like Megan Fox) about trust, exes, money, kids, politics, and plans for the longer term in our home. Whether you’re keen on the show or don’t normally watch reality TV, listed below are seven essential Love Is Blind-inspired questions that can open up the door to essential relationship conversations.
In season six, after lying to Laura about his whereabouts the night he and Sarah Ann “hung back in the parking lot” to “talk,” Jeramey’s shady actions made couples in all places face a serious reality in today’s digital age: Just since you share your location with me, doesn’t mean you’re being honest. After (allegedly) leaving his phone in his automobile to make Laura think he hadn’t left the bar, Jeramey’s Apple Watch shared his true location, making it clear that he had gone to his ex’s house. While location sharing is usually a tool for safety purposes, using it solely to know where your partner is begs the query: Do I actually trust you, and do I even have any reason to consider that you simply’ll be somewhere you shouldn’t be?
It’s essential to discuss the role location sharing plays in your relationship and what reasons you wish to (or don’t want to) use it. If you are feeling like you wish to know your partner’s whereabouts in any respect times, that’s probably a red flag and indicates that there’s likely some broken trust that location sharing alone can’t rebuild.
My boyfriend and I even have at all times chosen not to share our locations. I’m grateful that we’ve got never felt the necessity to know where the opposite is in any respect times and trust that there’s no reason to be checking in. Plus, I like to be surprised when he stops to buy me flowers on his way home—I’d damage that for myself knowing he was on the florist. When it comes to trust, we’ve got fully decided to lean into an “innocent until proven guilty” mindset. And if that day ever comes, it is going to take way greater than some location sharing to fix.
What are your relationships along with your exes?
Along with location sharing comes the query, “Who are you with?” In Chelsea and Jimmy’s case in season six, Chelsea couldn’t ignore how Jimmy’s relationship along with his female friends (certainly one of whom he had previously connected with) made her feel, ultimately leading to the demise of their relationship. If your companion has relationships that make you are feeling uncomfortable, tensions and insecurities will likely run high. But as much as discussing boundaries with exes and friends is essential, trust is crucial consider any relationship. If you wish your partner to cut certain people out of their lives to feel secure, the issue likely lies along with your relationship, not their relationship with anyone else.
I’m lucky to be in a relationship with someone who is incredibly kind and has numerous friends—a few of whom are female. It took somewhat time to get used to, but our conversations around boundaries and expectations helped make us each feel respected and secure. For him, feeling like I trusted him around the alternative sex was paramount. I could understand how someone wouldn’t want to feel like they were always under interrogation. I had male friends, too, and I didn’t want to feel like I had to prove my innocence any time someone texted me or commented on my latest Instagram post.
How do our individual funds affect our joint future?
Whether you’ve got student loans, bank card debt, adverse credit, a trust fund, or numerous investments, it’s essential to discuss how these items will impact the way you approach your future together. In the case of Stacy and Izzy in season five, Stacy couldn’t recover from the indisputable fact that Izzy had adverse credit (and, in fairness, failed to mention it until right before their wedding.) While many argued that she was shallow for caring more about financial security than love, plenty of individuals agreed that financial commitments in a wedding must be discussed and tackled as a unit.
Discussions about funds may be touchy, however it’s crucial to get on the identical page about how you intend to tackle bills, large purchases, and investments together in the longer term. After all, conflict around money is commonly a top consider a relationship’s demise. So whether you wish to embark on joint accounts, split things 50/50, keep debts separate, or find a novel solution to your situation, talking these items through early is best than being blindsided. This conversation in my relationship opened the door to discussing our funds often. Understanding one another’s financial situations and goals has allowed us to lean on each other, especially through difficult times like job changes and unexpected large expenses. Ultimately, this has helped strengthen us as a team and put us ready where we will begin to save for exciting things in the longer term, like our first home.
How do you handle conflict?
We all know those couples that love to push one another’s buttons. However, there may be a difference between being compatible and having the ability (and willing) to work through conflict together. In the case of Jackie and Marshall in season 4, while there can have been compatibility, there was little willingness to fight fairly and protect each other’s feelings. Name-calling, verbal attacks, and an unwillingness to communicate are shiny red flags, so it’s no wonder their relationship ended prematurely.
Just as we learn our partner’s love language to make them feel appreciated, we also need to know the way they handle disagreements. You may be the sort of one that can discuss a difficulty instantly, but in case your partner prefers time alone to think, it may be best to wait before addressing the situation. My boyfriend learned the hard way that I don’t like to be approached when under major stress (sorry, honey). Conversely, I even have learned that he sometimes needs a push to maintain things he could sweep under the rug. Ultimately, our rule is to speak with respect and approach each other with understanding and empathy. This has taught us how to come together as a team, fairly than opponents, and adopt the mindset of “it’s us against the problem, not us against one another.”
Do you are feeling heard, considered, and valued once we make decisions?
Let’s face it: Some persons are trailblazers, and a few persons are loyal followers (each are OK!). From the start of Chelsea and Kwame’s relationship in season 4, Chelsea took the reins on decision-making. This led to conflict between the pair. For example, when discussing what the longer term held for them, Kwame was unenthusiastic about relocating to Seattle to live where Chelsea’s life was firmly planted. Despite having few ties to his current home in Portland, Kwame’s reluctance was rooted in feeling like his partner wasn’t concerned along with his thoughts on the matter. While Chelsea’s plans made logical sense, Kwame’s voice wasn’t heard, and that may be frustrating for any partner.
Being a part of a relationship means being on a team, and a part of being a team player means considering every member’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions. We can’t assume our partners will agree with us on every decision. While I’m not great with decision-making, my partner has no issue making and sticking to a selection. Though that has made my life easy, it took time for me to get used to his strong convictions. But thanks to our discussions about taking each other’s feelings into consideration, he’s considerate when making decisions that impact us each. This includes little things like what music we listen to and greater things like splitting holidays between our families. Being comfortable expressing our needs has been an enormous consider the success of our relationship.
Are we in alignment on serious topics?
You might know your partner’s favorite color, the name of their childhood best friend, and their lucky number, but do you recognize where they stand on issues that actually matter? For Nancy and Bartise in season three, it was all lighthearted fun until they began discussing issues like genetic testing, abortion, and financial investments. While a big majority of Nancy’s income was from a strong portfolio of investment properties, her profession working with special needs children solidified her thoughts on major issues like abortion, politics, and a lady’s right to bodily autonomy. She and Bartise weren’t in alignment on any of these items. This ultimately led to the downfall of their relationship.
While two people can agree to disagree on certain topics and still make their relationship work, some opinions are a fundamental a part of an individual’s belief system. When it comes to major topics like politics, having children, where you wish to live, and the way you intend to spend (or not spend) your money, it’s higher to be certain you’re on the identical page sooner fairly than later. This is particularly true if disagreements on these topics could possibly be deal breakers.
Having these conversations come up within the early stage of my relationship was more helpful than I even realized. I’m so grateful to know that I’m in a relationship with someone who’s on the identical page about essential things. Seeing Nancy and Bartise realize they were incompatible at such a late stage of their romance was difficult. I feel very thankful and secure that we overcame that obstacle early.
What do you hope to accomplish over the following few years, and the way do you see our relationship fitting into that plan?
We’ve all got big dreams for the longer term, but what if our dreams are at odds with our partners? In the case of SK and Raven in season three, SK’s tenure at a California medical school wasn’t enough to have Raven packing her bags to move there with him. That (plus just a few cheating allegations) wound up killing their relationship.
School, work, relocation, family, and more can lead to couples being pulled apart. Though it is probably not anyone’s fault, it may well hurt to realize that life is taking you in several directions. Understanding what your partner’s plans for the longer term hold and the way you and your plans fit into them is paramount for having a successful relationship; Being on the identical page about how, when, and where you wind up keeps you each along with your eyes on the identical finish line.
I recently had a “Should I go to grad school and change careers?” moment, which prompted a significant discussion in our home. After seeing SK and Raven’s relationship collapse, being honest about my thoughts in regards to the future became imperative. I expressed that if I used to be going to return to school, I needed to know that we were each on the identical page about where we wanted to be in five years. Similarly, I felt comfortable expressing that I wanted a wedding, a house, and youngsters within the not-so-distant future. I’m glad to report that we’re, actually, on the identical page about those things. But perhaps more importantly, our comfortability in discussing these items is why we’ve been able to construct a powerful relationship.
Final thoughts
It’s never too soon (or too late) to have essential conversations with the person you think that could possibly be the one. Being comfortable expressing your thoughts, opinions, fears, goals, boundaries, and expectations is crucial for having a solid foundation. Similarly, understanding your partner’s feelings on those subjects will only make you a greater teammate. If you’ve found yourself in relationships that feel more like guessing games than real partnerships, it’s time to sit down, activate Love Is Blind on Netflix, and have all of those essential talks so your love story doesn’t end in an “I Don’t” on the altar (or, more likely, a breakup text).
