Studies show that men tend to prioritize the attractiveness of their female friends when it got here to their alternative of female friends whereas women prioritize a male friend’s ability to protect them. More often than not, there’s a reason for concern over your boyfriend having a “girl best friend,” and also you likely have a better probability of being screwed over by a person with close female friends. This should come as no surprise to anyone given the hundreds of thousands of stories on the market of ladies who found themselves being betrayed by their boyfriend or husband with a “girl best friend,” yet there remains to be controversy around this myth. Recently, a TikTok of a happily married woman who said that happily married men don’t pursue close friendships with women went viral. Thousands of ladies then proceeded to share their very own stories of how they were inevitably screwed over by trying to play the “cool girl” to their boyfriend or husband having an in depth shady friendship with one other woman. Here are a number of primary reasons try to be wary should you’re dating a person with close and shady friendships with women.
Men Don’t Pursue Friendships with Women For the Same Reasons Women Do With Men
One false equivalency that individuals often throw out in defense of this phenomenon is the claim that each men and girls pursue friendships with the alternative sex for purely platonic reasons. Yet research contests this, showing that a person will prioritize attractiveness and their attraction to a possible girlfriend over other traits whereas a lady doesn’t prioritize it in any respect. Plenty of men complain about being “friend-zoned” but women rarely do – why do you think that that’s? It’s because women generally really do have friendships with men that aren’t in any respect based on physical attraction – often (unless they’re a female narcissist) they’ll pick male friends who they feel are protective, empathic, and emotionally supportive indirectly. Basically, women on average couldn’t care less if a person looks like Michael Vartan or Grant Gustin (okay, possibly Michael Vartan and Grant Gustin would incentivize them a little) when it comes to their alternative of male friends. We know for a proven fact that, then again, that men generally pursue friendships with women they’re attracted to in hopes of deeper connection whereas women generally may be friends with men they really do only view in a platonic light.
Many women can relate to this. Every close guy friend I’ve ever had has hit on me in some form or fashion. Every single one. So why will we proceed to create this false equivalency that heterosexual men and girls pursue friendships with the alternative sex for a similar reason? Generally speaking, with few exceptions, many men will pursue friendships with women they’re all for with the hope of more. If they proceed to invest deeply in these friendships while they’re in a relationship or enter a wedding, there may be at all times going to be some level of flirtation and interest there. Many women can attest to experiencing a situation where their husband or boyfriend went on to have a romantic relationship with their female best friend they said they checked out “as a sister,” or a friend they confided in in regards to the relationship. Full-blown emotional affairs if not physical ones often run rampant in these cases.
Pick-Me Women Do Exist, And So Do Men Who Entertain Them
Is your boyfriend or spouse really “oblivious” to the advances of other women or does he just want to keep his options open? Recently, one other woman shared a story online about how two of her husband’s “friends” kept complimenting her and telling her that she was way out of her husband’s league. Later, one among those self same friends called her husband and claimed she was having an emergency with the opposite friend and needed their assist in her hotel room. The husband rushed to the young woman’s aid – just for the girl to maul and flirt along with her husband while the wife was in the opposite room (according to the husband no less than – but we’re not all too sure that’s the total story). Her husband confessed that this young woman had been hitting on him for months, and had even told him that he was out of his wife’s league (the alternative of what she told the wife). Yet that doesn’t explain why he would try to rush to help that very same woman late at night relatively than finding another person to do it if he was that concerned about her intentions. Such stories are common – the “female best friend” or “work wife” pretends to compliment his girlfriend only to pursue him behind the scenes – or he pursues her, and blames the girl as a type of gaslighting – as was illustrated beautifully in the tv series Wilderness. The man pretends he’s oblivious to her advances yet doesn’t seem in any respect nervous about coming to her aid, flirting back, or engaging in late-night phone calls or texts or one-on-one meetings.
To consider no woman would ever want to pursue a person in a committed relationship is naive because pick-me women who try to go after men who’re in committed relationships do exist, and according to research, they have a tendency to exhibit psychopathic tendencies in the event that they have a pattern of pursuing men already in committed relationships. Interestingly, the lads who engage in a lot of these affairs and permit themselves to be “partner poached” also display psychopathic traits too. Both are within the fallacious, the partner in a relationship moreso, but each are still answerable for their behavior.
Men With A Harem of Close Female Friends Are Usually Players
Some women think that men who’ve a number of close female friends have to be sensitive and emotionally intelligent (within the words of a viral web trend, “someone cooked here“). They assume that they have a better understanding of what women want and need. But they forget – some men may know they don’t have a realistic opportunity with these women they call friends, but will still keep them around and be caring toward them not out of real compassion but a motive to feel validated by their attention. Men who like to be surrounded by women are often narcissistic players who like having a roster. They want to keep their options open and want to pit women against one another to maintain the power in their primary relationship. Admittedly, as someone who’s dated multiple men at once, I know how thrilling dating multiple people can be – but in my case, I was transparent and not in a relationship – and I did not disguise these as “friendships.” Men with many close female friends then again aren’t in any respect transparent about their motives or true intentions. They want the wife at home and several other women they will flirt with or have emotional, even physical affairs with on the side. They desire a “girl best friend” in training that may change into the second wife or girlfriend if the primary one doesn’t work out. So don’t assume the joy of dating multiple women is any different on your garden-variety man who requires a number of attention from his female best friends and spends most of his time, energy, and money entertaining other women.
Are There Exceptions?
If you’re reading this pondering, “No! There must be an exception!” With every part in life, there may be rare unicorn situations where this won’t apply. But often, it’s restricted to cases where there isn’t a physical and emotional attraction on either end, and a high-value man with real intentions (but even in that case, he likely wouldn’t be pursuing close friendships with women in any respect because he’s focused on his partner). Perhaps your boyfriend has a childhood friend where neither are attracted to one another and the friend is already happily in one other relationship and would never have an affair. Or it’s not a friendship in any respect but a context where strong boundaries are in place – more of an acquaintance situation where nothing can ever occur. In those cases, you could not have any reason to be wary. However, we do need to stop gaslighting women and telling them that they’re “insecure,” “crazy” or “imagining things” when it comes to men with shady close female friends. Don’t doubt yourself and listen to your instincts.
